LONDON Love&Hate 愛と憎しみのロンドン

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Pray for Jin Jin

スクリーンショット 2015-12-25 15.08.04

This is a really sad story for me and it may be selfish to write this on Christmas Day. However, it will be my lifelong task that I always remember what pleasure Jin Jin brought into my life.

Almost ten days ago, Jin Jin started to show us his discomfort on his tummy area. I thought he did not like his new diet food which was supposed to help him to lose weight. My flatmate, who is a co-owner of the cats here, left for his working/ holiday on 17th and since then Jin Jin stopped his poos. Although he also stopped eating properly, his bottom tummy looked bloated. I was worried about his condition, but I did not have time to take him to the vet.

On 20th, when I was writing my next column, Jin Jin was drinking the huge amount of water from his favourite bowl. I became so afraid that something was really wrong. As soon as finishing my column, I googled with [my cat drinks water, but not eating] both in Japanese and in English. The Japanese information horrified me. I found a comprehensive one from Battersea's site and as I followed their suggestion, I gave Jin Jin a small amount of wet food. He did not eat the meat, but he licked its jelly.

I felt relieved, but I called the main clinic of our local vet and booked a slot for Jin Jin on 24th. On Monday and Tuesday, because I was overwhelmed by the situation, I bought a lot of the wet food for Jin Jin.

On 23rd, when I gave Jin Jin the wet food as breakfast, he did not touch it at all and his bottom tummy was bigger than the previous night. Late afternoon when I came back to the flat, Jin Jin looked really exhausted and I immediately called the local vets. Although they were fully booked, they provided us a slot.

It was too late to do full assessment there. Jin Jin was give a couple of treatments. We went home later.

On Christmas Eve, I took Jin Jin to the local vet and left him there because the vets needed to check up his condition. I was hoping Jin Jin would suffer a minor problem. When I was shopping at a supermarket, the vets called me and asked me to come back as quickly as possible.

At the clinic, there were no other owners, but only me. The doctor ushered me to the consulting room. He told me that he found modified transudate from cancer in Jin Jin's tummy. This pressured his vessels in his bottom area and caused terrible pain to Jin Jin. He did not miow, but for the last few days, when I touched his body, he clearly showed he was not happy to be touched. According to the doctor, Jin Jin's cancer tumor was the size of a grapefruit and it seemed to grow up quite rapidly.

The doctor said that he could send Jin Jin to a specialist and Jin Jin might be able to have further treatments, but from his experience, more than half of the cases, cats died during the exhausting process. Or, I would have to put him down.

I became completely blank for a few seconds, then I was burst in tears, crying uncontrolably.

Could not believe it. On 3rd of Dec, Jin Jin was waiting for Neko Neko finishing his food as Jin Jin wanted to have more food.

Exactly three weeks after that, he was dying of the cancer. Why? How?

I asked the doctor I wanted to see Jin Jin. We went down to the clinical room. His right paw was bandaged and when we opened the cage door, he wanted to move out of the cage. I was cuddling Jin Jin, kissing him, smelling him and talking to him for a while with tears. I realised that even under very strong sedation, he was absolutely uncomfortable to be touched. I made my decision, but told the doctor I was coming back in 30 minutes.

I left the clinic and the tears were streaming down, and I did not care. I found one of my friends, who knew I had had to take Jin Jin to the vets, tried to call me. I called her back and when she heard my first breath, she realised the worst thing happened to Jin Jin. We cried over the phone.

I skyped my flatmate and we agreed that we did not want Jin Jin to go through more painful treatments. I went back to the clinic very slowly as if I was still hoping Jin Jin would be OK.

I told the doctor our decision. He warmly tried to assure me that our decision was right, but I could not stop feeling guilty. He said that I would not need to see Jin Jin going as many owners could not bear to see it. I hesitated for a minute, but I said to him I wanted to be with Jin Jin when he would go. I did not want Jin Jin to go alone.

When we entered the clinical room, I saw Jin Jin finding me immediately and felt as if Jin Jin asked me to take him home together. I kissed Jin Jin, smelled him, cuddled him and kissed him for a few minutes.

After his heart stopped, I again cuddled Jin Jin and he still smelled as Jin Jin I know well. I did not want him to go. The doctor let me cry there.

Finishing all paper works, I was handed back the carrier. With Jin Jin, it was heavy. How painfully heartbroken it IS to take back the empty carrier. When I left the clinic, the sun was appearing behind the clouds.

How awful to lose two cats within a few months! For the moment, far beyond my coping capacity. On the way home, I could not stop blaming myself, [Have I done a right thing for Jin Jin]?

I cannot be sick because I have to and do want to look after Neko Neko.

When I brought Jin Jin in our life on 4th May, he was quite shy and scared.
(this was taken on 6th May and is one of my favourite photos of Jin Jin)

However, he enjoyed playing the particular game with my flatmate. When the weather was fine for him, he loved sleeping in the living room and asked me to tickle his chest and tummy.

Next month, Jin Jin would have been 12yo and he could have enjoyed his life a few more years. I cannot stop asking, Why him?

Did Jin Jin enjoy living with us? Was he happy to be with us?

Just over six months with us, but Jin Jin really enriched my life this year.

Dear all, thank you for reading this which is my own process for myself to accept the fact. In particular, some of you kindly supported me with the sorrow conversations over skype and phone, how fortunate I am to know you are there for me.

Please forgive my being selfish, but you do not need to reply to me, because I am not able to imagine what I could reply to you.

スクリーンショット 2015-12-25 15.07.06

Bye bye, Jin Jin, sleep well.

Cats    ↑Top

The Fox and the Star



The Fox and the Star




Children’s picture books reviews – uplifting messages for Christmas

The Fox and the Star by Coralie Bickford-Smith (Particular Books, £14.99). This beautiful, cloth-bound book is the sort you want to keep for ever. Bickford-Smith is said to have been inspired by William Morris’s graphic work. On the face of it, the story could not be more simple: a fox follows a single star, his “only friend”. Each page is an intricate pattern – the drawings look like woodcuts – the fox forages though beetles and thorns and you can spot the beetles escaping into the book’s margins. It is not an easy journey. The fox loses a star but acquires, eventually, a constellated sky. The more you read, the more allegorical the journey becomes. A star book for Christmas, for all the year round and for all ages.



Books    Comment(0)   ↑Top


スクリーンショット 2015-12-15 14.17.53





お歳暮商戦でのハム販売が停滞 by BBC



Japan: Ham-giving tradition hit by WHO cancer report

Sales of one of Japan's more popular seasonal gifts have reportedly been hit in the wake of a World Health Organisation (WHO) report on cancer.

Hams are among items traditionally sent during the oseibo gift-giving season in December, but the WHO's report linking processed meats with bowel cancer mean that sales are lower than in previous years, The Japan Times newspaper says. According to one department store in Osaka, sales of ham - which usually spike in December - have fallen as shoppers opt for alternatives. "Customers might switch to other products, such as beer," an unnamed store official tells the paper.

Producers have sought to reassure customers that "moderate" consumption of ham and sausages carries a much lower cancer risk, but opinion seems to be split among shoppers who spoke to The Japan Times. While some say they've refrained from sending processed meats this year, one elderly consumer ordered a box of hams, saying: "I don't think the risks are huge."

Oseibo is one of two traditional gift-giving seasons in Japan, where people send presents to thank others for kindness they have shown during the year. Gifts are mainly consumables or premium foods, and ham, beer, desserts and cooking oil are popular choices. However, the festival appears to have merged with the Western idea of giving Christmas presents, and as Japanese cultural expert Rochelle Kopp writes, oseibo is now more likely to be observed by the older generation.


Processed meats rank alongside smoking as cancer causes – WHO




スクリーンショット 2015-12-08 13.39.34





Migrant crisis: The lifejacket 'mountains' of Lesbos



Iestyn Davies&Allan Clayton@Wigmore Hall

4 Dec 1


American composer Nico Muhly’s feeling for the sounds and clarity of pre-Classical music has proved a strong influence on his acclaimed work.

His new score crowns an ear-catching programme shrewdly devised by James Baillieu to spotlight the highest levels of invention and sophistication of English and American song.

Iestyn Davies countertenor
Allan Clayton tenor
James Baillieu piano

Henry Purcell (c.1659-1695)
Music for a while Z583 (arr. Sir Michael Tippett)

Sweeter than roses Z585 (arr. Benjamin Britten)
Full fathom five Z631 (arr. Thomas Adès)

Benjamin Britten (1913-1976)
Canticle I: My beloved is mine Op. 40

Thomas Adès (b.1971)
The Lover in Winter

Benjamin Britten
Canticle II: Abraham and Isaac Op. 51

Nico Muhly (b.1981)
Lorne ys my likinge (world première)

Samuel Barber (1910-1981)
3 Songs (James Joyce) Op. 10
Rain has fallen; Sleep now; I hear an army

Nico Muhly
Four Traditional Songs

Benjamin Britten
Sally in our Alley; The Plough Boy; I wonder as I wander; Oliver Cromwell

Henry Purcell
Lost is my quiet forever Z502 (arr. Benjamin Britten)
Sound the trumpet Z323 (arr. Benjamin Britten)




4 Dec 5


Songs    Comment(0)   ↑Top








 午前8時、電話するも既に回線は大混雑。メッセイジは、「You are at 25th position in the queue」。待つこと30分。




NHS rationing 'is denying patients care' as cash crisis deepens


Jin JinNeko Nekoの食事を食べてしまうことは知っていたが、健康な証と黙認してきた。が、ひと月前にヴェットに連れて行った時に体重を測ったら、6.5kg!獣医からは、減量するようにと。

 人間の勝手な憶測に振り回されるJin Jinには申し訳ないが、食事量の制限を始めた。なので最近は、自分の分を食べ終えるとNeko Nekoが食事を終えるのを静かに待ち構える。もちろん、食べさせないようにしている。

スクリーンショット 2015-12-03 21.37.42

 Neko Nekoは推定で15歳半くらい。引き取る時に言われたことは、腎臓が弱いからと。それもあるだろうし、加齢もあるのだろう、体重が4kgまで落ちている。人間の勝手な欲望と判っていても、あと数年、元気で居て欲しい。

Joy to live with the cats

Cats    Comment(0)   ↑Top



UK launches first Syria air strikes

Britain carries out first Syria airstrikes after MPs approve action against Isis




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