LONDON Love&Hate 愛と憎しみのロンドン

Home未分類 | Dance | Sylvie Guillem | Royal Ballet | Royal Opera | Counselling | Sightseeing | Overseas Travel | Life in London(Good) | Life in London(Bad) | Japan (Nihon) | Bartoli | Royal Families | British English | Gardens | Songs | Psychology | Babysitting | Politics | Multiculture | Society | Writing Jobs | About this blog | Opera Ballet | News | Arts | Food | 07/Jul/2005 | Job Hunting | Written In English | Life in London (so so) | Speak to myself | Photo(s) of the day | The Daily Telegraph | The Guardian | BBC | Other sources | BrokenBritain | Frog/ Kaeru | Theatre | Books | 11Mar11 | Stage | Stamps | Transport | Summer London 2012 | Weather | Okinawa | War is crime | Christoph Prégardien | Cats | Referendum 23rd June | Brexit | Mental Health 





'No, no, no!' – What do top Japanese chefs make of Britain's high-street sushi?




How to support a depressed partner while maintaining your own mental health


How to support a depressed partner while maintaining your own mental health

Looking after someone with chronic depression can be hard, as Poorna Bell discovered when her husband became ill. The first rule, she says, is to look after yourself

There is no lightning-bolt moment when you realise you are losing your sense of self; just an absence. When you are caring for someone you love, your wants and needs are supplanted by theirs, because what you want, more than anything, is for them to be well. Looking after a partner with mental health problems – in my case, my husband Rob, who had chronic depression – is complicated.

Like many people, Rob and I were not raised in a society that acknowledged, let alone spoke about, depression. The silence and stigma shaped how he dealt with his illness: indeed, he struggled with the very idea of being ill. He told me fairly early on in our relationship that he had depression, but I had no idea what this entailed – the scale, the scope, the fact that a chronic illness like this can recur every year and linger for months.

I didn’t know what questions to ask. And Rob struggled to articulate how bad it was. He wanted to be “normal” so he expended a lot of energy trying to pretend he was OK when he wasn’t. In 2015, Rob took his life. The reasons are complex, but I believe it was a mix of depression and an addiction to the opiates he used to self-medicate.

Although I am painfully aware of how Rob’s battle ended, I am often asked about how I dealt with it when he was alive. Hindsight is always bittersweet, but I did learn a lot – especially about taking care of my own mental health. Here’s what I learned:

Look after yourself
Feeling that you have to handle everything is natural, but you have to look after yourself or you won’t be any use to your partner. “That pressure to keep it all going can feel too much,” says Dr Monica Cain, counselling psychologist at Nightingale hospital in London. She advises “taking that pressure seriously. It’s something that is very difficult to manage even at the best of times.”

Remember that depression isn’t just a mental illness
It used to drive me mad that Rob wouldn’t get out of bed. It took a while to realise that he “couldn’t” rather than “wouldn’t”. I was so sure he would feel better if he came out for a walk or met his friends, but depression is a physical illness, too. As Dr Cain says: “Physically, depression impacts energy levels. People sometimes feel very tired and want to stay in bed all the time.”

Don’t stop doing the things you love
When your partner can’t get out of bed or come to social engagements with you, there can be anger and frustration. Jayne Hardy, founder of the Blurt Foundation, which helps those affected by depression, says the “feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and unworthiness” depressed people may have mean they often “place loved ones on a pedestal”. She says their skewed perspective means they can “struggle to see what they have to offer you”.

On more than one occasion, Rob said to me: “I feel like I’m ruining your life.” I stopped doing the things I loved and, because I stayed at home with him, it made him feel guilty that I was missing out.

Take charge of admin and finance
People with depression find even mundane tasks, such as opening the post or going to the shops, impossible. Often, they keep their finances hidden, says Dr Cain. “It can feel quite shameful for them to say: ‘I’m finding it difficult to stay on top of it.’” This can be stressful for their partners. As Dr Antonis Kousoulis, a clinician and an assistant director at the Mental Health Foundation, says: “Being the main source of support for a partner with depression can add a lot of pressure.” But it is still better than not knowing what’s happening with your partner’s finances or admin. So, to maintain your own mental health and avoid unnecessary stress, it may be easier to have an agreement with your partner that, when they are ill, you will be in the admin driving seat. And when they feel able, they will sort it out.

Talk to your friends and family
You may fear that friends and family won’t understand. But trying to maintain appearances while supporting your partner is exhausting. “Opening up conversations to friends and families, and getting them involved usually makes a big difference in tackling the stigma and building a circle of support,” says Dr Kousoulis. Hardy adds: “All the advice we would give to someone who is unwell with depression also applies to loved ones who support us: make sure you are supported, reach out for help in understanding more about the illness, keep the channels of communication open; don’t be afraid to ask questions, and prioritise self-care.”

Don’t take it personally
There is the person you fell in love with, who makes you laugh until it hurts – and then there are the bad days, when you are dealing with a stranger who won’t let you in. “Depression can magnify or alter emotions,” says Dr Kousoulis. “A person can have emotional highs and lows in equal degrees, so it is important not to take changes personally.”

This can be easier said than done. I found my own coping mechanisms – therapy, exercise and lowering my expectations of what I needed and wanted from Rob when he was feeling bad. I knew that somewhere inside this person was my husband, so from time to time, I’d leave him postcards telling him how much I loved him. He didn’t react in an effusive way but I know it got through because he kept every one in a memory box.

Above all, hold on to your love. “You won’t always feel as though you are making any progress,” says Hardy. “You, too, may feel helpless at times. But your patience, kindness and understanding make such a difference.”

Chase The Rainbow, Poorna Bell’s memoir about life with her husband, is published by Simon & Schuster.

The Samaritans helpline is 116 123.

In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.

In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.

Brexit Chaos: 先進国から途上国へ移行するイギリス



David Davis leaves Brussels after less than an hour of Brexit talks




Manchester’s bike-share scheme isn't working – because people don't know how to share



Brexit    Comment(0)   ↑Top


No call or text is worth your life. #ItCanWait






Nikkei 18th Jul 2017

Nikkei 18th Jul 2017b




London acid attack: two teenagers arrested after series of assaults


ロンドン北東部で酸攻撃が連続5件 少年逮捕






Acid attacks are a crime without pity, and a mirror on our unforgiving times

All crime smacks of psychological sickness, but this crime – so painful, so indelible, so traumatic, so effectively a longstanding torture – reveals a lack of empathy that is extremely disturbing. It is a crime for our times indeed.



スクリーンショット 2017-07-14 16.41.07


スクリーンショット 2017-07-14 16.41.38

スクリーンショット 2017-07-14 16.42.00






スクリーンショット 2017-07-14 17.09.37




The world's greatest festival of cycling sees professional and amateurs riding across London on closed roads. For the first time, the event cycling kicks off on the Friday at the Lee Valley VeloPark in Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. For full information, see Prudential RideLondon's website.
Travel advice

The events will close roads on Saturday 29 and Sunday 30 July, affecting drivers and bus passengers. Some Tube stations will also be busier than usual.

Please note Marlborough Road and The Mall (between Horse Guards Road and Queens Gardens) will be closed from 07:30 on Friday 28 July to 06:00 Monday 31 July.

What's happening

Friday 28 July
Prudential RideLondon Handcycle Grand Prix is an event for injured veteran servicemen and women, while the Prudential RideLondon Elite Handcycle Grand Prix will feature some of the world's best handcyclists.

Prudential RideLondon Youths Grand Prix will showcase Britain's next generation of top cyclists in a series of four races for boys and girls.

Prudential RideLondon Elite Handcycle Grand Prix will feature some of the world's best handcyclists

Grand Prix Festival Zone offers spectators a glimpse of some of the entertainment that will be on offer at the Prudential RideLondon FreeCycle Festival Zones on Saturday 29 July.

Saturday 29 July
Prudential RideLondon FreeCycle is a family-friendly mass bike ride on an eight-mile traffic-free route in central London. It passes through Buckingham Palace, Trafalgar Square, St Paul's Cathedral and the Bank of England and goes south of the river with a loop over Waterloo Bridge, offering stunning views of London.

Brompton World Championship is back in central London. It will see more than 500 riders unfold their bikes and race eight laps around St James's Park, with Lycra swapped in favour of business chic: suit jackets, collared shirts and neck ties.

Prudential RideLondon Classique is the women's race which takes place on a spectacular 5.5km circuit in central London. The prize money for this - including €25,000 for the winner - is the highest ever for a women's race, and matches the prize for world's richest one-day men's race, the Prudential RideLondon-Surrey Classic.

Sunday 30 July
Prudential RideLondon 100 starts in Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park, then follows a 100-mile route on closed roads through the capital and into Surrey's stunning countryside.



超迷惑:F1イヴェントでトラファルガー広場閉鎖on 12th July 2017


From 11:00 to 23:59 on Wednesday 12 July, a number of buses in central London will be on diversion or stop short of their normal destination, including routes 6 and 139.

This is while roads in and around Trafalgar Square and Whitehall are closed to all traffic due to an event.






ロンドン東部で2人に酸攻撃 容疑者出頭

Surge in acid attacks in England leads to calls to restrict sales


Romford stabbing: Young man stabbed to death in front of girlfriend after leaving cinema

'When knife victims arrive at hospital in school uniform, it brings it home to you'


All secondary schools in London to be offered knife detectors












Society    ↑Top


午前中に仕事を片付けて、久しぶりにキュー・ガーデンズへ。初夏の花が咲き乱れ、英語で言うところの、まさに「a riot of colour」。最近のイギリスの混乱ぶり、凋落ぶりはこれまで直面しようとしなかった彼らのいい加減さ、真面目になることを罪悪視する傾向が決壊点に達したからだと思っている。イングリッシュ・ガーデンもきっちりしているような、いないような庭ごとの境界が曖昧なことがあるが、キューの夏の庭は、その曖昧に感じる、しかししっかりと考えて作られている美しさに何時間でも居たかった。










(c)Koji Moriya 写真素材 PIXTAー


(c)Koji Moriya 写真素材 PIXTAー


(c)Koji Moriya 写真素材 PIXTAー


(c)Koji Moriya 写真素材 PIXTAー


(c)Koji Moriya 写真素材 PIXTAー

The Observer紙で、写真が選ばれた!

日曜新聞紙の一つ、The Observer。本紙の他に、The New Reviewという特集や文化情報を掲載するセクションがある。その中の「Charts & puzzles」では、毎週、テーマに沿った写真を読者に呼びかけている。




The Observer 9th July 2017a

The Observer 9th July 2017b

The Observer 9th July 2017c



It's oh so quiet: readers' photos on the theme of peaceful



Today we’re announcing a significant change to the way you experience the Guardian in print: from early 2018 we will move the Guardian and The Observer to tabloid formats.

Over the past six months, we’ve been thinking hard about how we can continue to deliver great journalism to readers through our print editions. At the same time, we’ve also been examining every cost across our organisation, as part of a three-year plan to make the Guardian financially sustainable.

The introduction of the Berliner format in 2005 was a historic moment for the Guardian, and we won award after award for our world-class design and innovation, including world’s best-designed newspaper twice in three years. It is a beautiful format.

We believe there will be a market for quality print journalism for years to come, but declining circulations mean that printing the Berliner is becoming increasingly expensive. Moving to a tabloid format will allow us to be far more flexible in responding to changing print demand. It will allow us to save millions of pounds each year, helping us to become financially sustainable so that we can keep investing in the most important thing: Guardian journalism.

This plan is the outcome of careful consideration, reader research and planning. Early research with some of our most loyal readers has been positive. We have spoken to print readers who have told us clearly that it is the great journalism, photography, graphics and design that they value, not the shape and size of the newspaper. We are going to create a tabloid Guardian and a tabloid Observer that are bold, striking and beautiful. Input from our readers, members and subscribers will be crucial.

The Guardian has signed a contract with Trinity Mirror, who will take over printing and distribution of our newspapers in the new format. If you are a print subscriber, your subscription service will continue as usual.

More people than ever before are reading and supporting the Guardian’s journalism. Today’s announcement further cements our commitment to produce the Guardian and The Observer in print for the foreseeable future – but there’s no doubt that this is a significant moment in our history. The print industry continues to evolve, and we must keep evolving with it.

Katharine Viner, editor-in-chief, Guardian News & Media
David Pemsel, chief executive, Guardian Media Group






The Observer view on a crisis in mental health

Anxiety can be good for you. It is part of the “fight or flight” reflex triggered in the presence of danger. The amygdala, the brain’s alarm system, is responsible for generating negative emotions. To prevent them flooding the brain, this part of the iambic system must be quiet. Working hard on non-emotional mental tasks inhibits the amygdala which is why keeping busy is often said to be one source of happiness. Keeping busy is not what the anxious and depressed can do – and so a cycle of misery is locked into place.

In England, new figures released last week revealed that misery appears to be escalating at an alarming scale. Prescriptions for 64.7 million items of antidepressants – an all-time high – were dispensed in 2016, the most recent annual data from NHS Digital showed. This is a staggering 108.5% increase on the 31 million antidepressants dispensed 10 years earlier.

Is the scale of the rise a welcome sign of progress, more people coming forward for help? Or does it also flag up a rising tide of insecurity and distress, beginning in the very young, that requires a more profound change in society as a whole than individual GPs repeatedly reaching for the prescription pad?

Helen Stokes-Lampard, chair of the Royal College of GPs, said: “The rise could be indicative of better identification and diagnosis of mental health conditions across healthcare and reducing stigma … Nevertheless, no doctor wants their patient to be reliant on medication and where possible we will always explore alternative treatments, such as talking therapies.”

She also pointed out that talking therapies are in desperately short supply. She urged NHS England to meet its commitment to have 3,000 new mental health therapists based in GP surgeries. Kate Lovett, dean of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, said talking therapies have their place but “for people who have recurrent episodes of depression, longer use of antidepressants reduces incidence of relapse”. The theory that more people may be coming forward for help is positive news – but, for many, that is still not early enough. One study followed a large cohort of children through to adulthood and found that half of the adults who had a psychiatric disorder at 26 first had problems before the age of 15. While the young have never been better behaved, drinking and smoking less, their levels of anxiety and depression are rising and the chances of even the most chronic cases receiving adequate help are still shamefully slim.

In My Age of Anxiety: Fear, Hope, Dread and the Search for Peace of Mind, published three years ago, Scott Stossel explains how as a child he had separation anxiety then he developed phobias about flying, fainting, speaking in public, closed places, germs, vomiting and cheese. Antidepressants and therapy have not provided relief. “To grapple with understanding anxiety,” he writes, “is in some sense to grapple with and understand the human condition.”

The human condition today is ever more complex in an era of the internet, social media and the focus on status, appearance and material success. However, more is required as an antidote than early intervention, self-help and medication alone. As Richard Layard rightly argues in Happiness: Lessons from a New Science, a boost to serotonin and dopamine, both associated with mental wellbeing, is also provided by public policy that is judged on how it increases human happiness and reduces misery.

What might that mean in practice? A real living wage, a living rent related to local income levels, an end to the gig economy, affordable housing, investment in training and skills, an end to the freeze in benefits, proper pay for public sector workers and an increase in spending on the NHS. According to the Nuffield Trust last week, the NHS in England is currently receiving an annual increase of less than 1% compared with 4% over its history. Children born today, according to the Office for National Statistics, are likely to spend at least 20% of their lives in poorer health, a disgrace in a rich country such as this.

The World Health Organisation defines mental health as “a state of wellbeing in which every individual realises his or her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully and is able to make a contribution to his or her own community”. It is also a definition of the common good that is the kind of medicine we all need.

Adult Improving Access to Psychological Therapies programme


Fair society; healthy lives



Grenfell Tower fire: government urged to take control of council


Paget-Brown said a key factor in his departure was his decision to halt to a cabinet meeting after failing to have the media barred.

Paget-Brown, who said having journalists present could prejudice the public inquiry into the disaster, blamed the advice of lawyers for his decision.

He said: “In particular, my decision to accept legal advice that I should not compromise the public inquiry by having an open discussion in public yesterday has itself become a political story. And it cannot be right that this should have become the focus of attention when so many are dead or still unaccounted for.” The new leader would pick their own cabinet, Paget-Brown added.

Downing Street was understood to be furious at the chaotic scenes at the meeting, which saw Labour opposition councillors shouting furiously as Paget-Brown announced that it would have to end because he could not discuss the fire with journalists in the room.

 要するに、自分は弁護士から間違った判断を受け取った、と。彼の態度は、自分が責任を負う必要など全くないと信じる時にイギリス人が取る典型的な態度。絶対に、心がこもっていないと批判されることなんて全く厭わないが、それを言ってしまうと自分が取りたくない責任を負わせられてしまう時には、口が裂けても「I am sorry」を言わない。


Tory councillor: media efforts to attend Grenfell meeting were 'clever stunt'



Manhood: The Bare Reality



5月下旬、土曜日のガーディアンの付録雑誌に特集の一つは、Laura Dodsworthという女性写真家の新作の紹介だった。

Me and my penis: 100 men reveal all

Every one of Laura Dodsworth’s penises is unique: introvert and extrovert, straight and bendy, wobblers and bobblers, growers and showers. There are contented penises that have led full lives, and disappointed penises that have let down their owners – or been let down by their owners.

In Dodsworth’s new book Manhood, every penis tells a story. There is the trans man who invested in the biggest and best; the underpowered poet hung up on his for years, until he decided to celebrate it with The Big Small Penis Party; the man who as a teenager thought he had genital warts and considered killing himself, until he found out they were normal spots; the business leader whose small penis taught him humility; the sex addict whose wife tried to cut it off; and the vicar who enjoyed his first threesome while training for the priesthood.

What surprised her most? “A lot more men feel a sense of shame or anxiety about their size, or an aspect of their performance, than I would have thought. What really moved me is how much that shame and inadequacy had bled into different parts of their life.” She says many were teased as children about their penis and never recovered from it.

 以前、100人の女性の胸部の写真を撮った作者が、今度は、100人の男性のpenisの写真を撮影したというもの。ご心配なく、 写真は全て平素のまま。煽ったりするようなものではない。趣旨は、いったい何人の男性が、自分のpenisいついて自分の言葉で語れるか、ということ。



‘Manhood: The Bare Reality’: 100 Men Had Their Penises Photographed To Explore Masculinity


Manhood: The Bare Reality

Manhood is Pinter & Martin's fastest-ever selling title, and hence availability, especially outside the UK, is limited at the moment. We are expecting more copies in our warehouse in the first week of July, and availability should be good Europe-wide soon after. It will be available in the US mid-August through and bookshops, or order from Wordery if you would like your copy sooner (they should have stock first week of July).

100 men bare all in a collection of photographs and interviews about manhood and ‘manhood’.

These days we are all less bound by gender and traditional roles, but is there more confusion about what being a man means? From veteran to vicar, from porn addict to prostate cancer survivor, men from all walks of life share honest reflections about their bodies, sexuality, relationships, fatherhood, work and health in this pioneering and unique book.

Just as Bare Reality: 100 women, their breasts, their stories presented the un-airbrushed truth about breasts for women, Manhood: The Bare Reality shows us the spectrum of ‘normal’, revealing men’s penises and bodies in all their diversity and glory, dispelling body image anxiety and myths.

Sensitive and compassionate, Manhood will surprise you and reassure you. It may even make you reconsider what you think you know about men, their bodies and masculinity.



女性器、タブー視しないで 自ら実験台、セルフケア訴え

Books    Comment(0)   ↑Top
Template by まるぼろらいと

Copyright ©LONDON Love&Hate 愛と憎しみのロンドン All Rights Reserved.