LONDON Love&Hate 愛と憎しみのロンドン

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Everything you always wanted to know about sex (and weren’t afraid to ask)



Men who find it difficult to orgasm with a partner – or take too long – are often misunderstood, too. Since “lasting a long time” is typically prized, they can be characterised as sexual athletes instead of being recognised as people who never become sufficiently excited to climax. In many cases, they require more vigorous stimulation than can be provided during most forms of bodily penetration. Men who ejaculate “too quickly” usually seek treatment because of shame – or complaints from their partner. Professional help can teach them to recognise their point of ejaculatory inevitability and to control it.


Common mythology suggests that sexual failure of one kind or another is a natural consequence of ageing. This is untrue. Commonly, though, hormonal changes – and some illnesses or disabilities that can accompany ageing – affect or disrupt the sexual patterns enjoyed in one’s youth. Our society’s prejudice against sexuality among older people doesn’t help, and some people mistakenly accept one erectile failure, for example, as a sure sign of an age-related, downward spiral. As people begin to age, they tend to begin to prefer more direct genital stimulation, so this is a time to request more direct care and attention from a partner, or to provide it for one’s self. Men’s erections in older age may not be as upright as those of a 20-year-old, but this does not make them less proficient lovers; in fact, their experience, knowledge and better communication skills should make them far better. The arousal mechanism of vaginal lubrication may start to take a little longer, too, so women should ask for more oral sex time, longer caresses or whatever arouses them best. If penetration becomes painful due to insufficient lubrication, this is a sign that more arousal is necessary – and perhaps a tube of lubricant.





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